Mahal kita!‏ (Love You!)

Kamusta po kayo? This week I found out some earth shattering news... the minions in Despicable Me 2 AND the ewoks in Star Wars speak Tagalog!!!!! So if you're wondering what I sound like, it's just like what we all thought was a made up language they use in movies. I must be getting pretty comfortable with the language because my companions and I have started shortening the word "pasensiya" meaning I'm sorry or have patience with me, to "pasench." Also I got a package from my mom with tons of treats and adorable headbands (I LOVE headbands!) and I got a bunch of letters from the girls that went to our stake girls camp last week, which was just sobrung mabuti (so good)! THEN I got the calendar my mom made me to count down my mission and keep track of my days because I've seriously been struggling with that, just ask my kasamas. All of these super nice things were much needed this week, because it was kinda rough. Plus I found out Sione tried out for American Idol and I didn't even know about it! ;) We started teaching not 1, but 2 new investigators and there just simple wasn't enough time to plan and memorize and practice our lessons and get everything else done that needed doing. It was just really frustrating to not be able to do as much or as well as I wanted to. Our investigators are Del and Teresa. Del is actually our teacher, Brother Pearce, playing an investigator from his mission. Del is an older guy whose son is a member, but he's very Catholic. He isn't really interested in joining the church and doesn't understand that there is a living prophet on the earth today. We tried to teach him about prophets and in our broken Tagalog we ended up telling him he was the prophet... so yeah. Teresa, who is our other teacher, Sister Osborn, is a 20 year old young woman who is in the US working as a nanny to send money back to her family in the Philippines. She's the oldest of 8 kids and her family is very important to her. She's also Catholic but isn't very active. She's adorable and we've been teaching her about how families can be together forever and about the restoration. She was a little hesitant to pray with us at first, but she agrees to say the prayer at the end of every lesson. I think she's making a lot of progress but we still have a lot to explain and it's really hard to do with our limited Tagalog. We'll be teaching Del and Teresa for the rest of our stay at the MTC unless we drop one of them or baptize one of them.

 

In all my frustration, I was a little ornery this week. Pasensiya kasamas! I was having a hard time keeping up the amazing relationship we have in our companionship. The exhaustion of going nonstop all the time and the stress of having so much to do and also learning a lot of the hard grammar stuff this week was getting to all of us and planning lessons was a little tense, just because we all have different ideas of how teaching should be done. The biggest thing was that Sister Smith is a go-with-the-flow kind of person and Sister Kerr and I like structure. We like practice and planning. And some of us wanted to just keep it simple and use only words we already knew because of our lack of time and others of us wanted to push ourselves a little more. However, we survived the week and rocked our lessons! Thank goodness for the spirit! Every night we give each other a compliment for the day and I think that really helped too. I'm really blessed to have the kasamas I do :)

 

Also, Sister Osborn who is also Teresa and Brother Pearce who is also Nico who is also Del, had a little coaching meeting with us Sisters and they both told us they were there to help if we started getting too overwhelmed and that they were really impressed with us and our teaching. So that helped. And also proved that we were Nico's favorites ;)

 

So last Sunday, our companionship taught our district meeting lesson. It was on faith in Jesus Christ. It was such a simple, short lesson but it was great! Good luck to the Elders that are teaching this week on beating that! Haha joke lang, no competition in the MTC... But anyways, I felt like I should share something with my district at the end of our lesson so I did. I told them that I'd learned part of having faith in Christ is trusting in Him. I told them about how my single mom lost her job just weeks before I came on my mission and how I was angry because things like that shouldn't happen to the families of soon-to-be missionaries. But then I told them how I realized I had to have faith in Heavenly Father's plan, whatever it may be and trust in Him that it would all work out. And I told them how angels came to my door asking how they could help. And then guess what! 2 days later I got a letter from my mom telling me she'd gotten a job!!! A job that paid more, had better benefits, and possibly will give her the opportunity to go back to school and get her degree. The Lord truly does bless the families of missionaries and He NEVER takes something away unless He's got something better in store. I know that with all my heart. I got to tell my district the news and they were seriously more excited about it than I was haha :D

 

Some of my favorite moments from this week were our role plays. Last Saturday night Sister Osborn demonstrated teaching on Elder Adamson, who was playing some kid named Cameron  who was Christian, 18, and had a lot of LDS friends. Afterwards we evaluated it and Elder Milligan talked about how halfway through we'd all realized that Camerson wasn't just some kid. He was a real person, he was Elder Adamson's friend back at home who he cared about, who may or who may not be receiving the missionary discussions and making the same progress that Elder Adamson pretended to make. And Elder Adamson started to cry. Like really cry. And all I could think of the entire time he was pretending to be Cameron was all the people I could've pretended to be, all of the people I love who don't understand the gospel and how important it is and how much their Heavenly Father loves them. It reminded me of why I'm here. If I'm not the one that can help the people I love understand, then maybe someone else can. And maybe there's someone in the Philippines who is just praying that someone else will be able to help the people they love understand. And maybe that person will be me. 

 

I loved it because we got to see another side of Elder Adamson. Just so you understand what he's normally like, let me tell you a couple of stories. Last Sunday on our temple walk he picked a random Elder, read his name tag, and then proceeded to say "Elder Miller? No way!" and pull him in for a hug against his will. It was hilarious! And then that night, everyone was crying because one of the districts was leaving for the Philippines the next morning so Elder Adamson pretended to cry and told Elder Milligan to pat him on the shoulder. Well our branch president walked over and took Elder Adamson aside and gave him a hug and told him it was going to be okay and that if he was already that bad he was going to be a mess when the next district left. And he just went with it. Oh and he wants everyone to know that he thinks my brother's mane is sweet.

 

And finally, some spiritual thoughts from our many devotionals. Last Sunday Elder Heaton spoke to us and said "Speak in the awkward moment." He told us a story about a woman who was looking for something more and had prayed that the missionaries would find her. Well one day she was outside talking to her neighbor when she saw them coming down the street. She was so excited! But then they passed her by. Luckily she was persistent and got online and ordered a Book of Mormon which was then dropped off by the same missionaries and later her and the neighbor were baptized. Maybe it would've been awkward to interrupt their conversation, but it would have been the answer to this woman's prayers! Never pass up an opportunity to share the gospel because it might be what we call "awkward." My other favorite was from our Tuesday night devotional. Elder Richard Hinckley, Pres. Hinckley's son, spoke. He said "The greatest suffering a missionary will experience is regret. When you leave your mission, will you say I wish I had, or I'm glad I did." And with those two thoughts, here's my challenge to you. Think of someone you could refer to the missionaries or give a Book of Mormon to or just share your testimony. You are not going to be alone in your efforts and even though you might feel like it's going to be awkward, you never know what will come of it. Maybe nothing, but maybe something. Just give it a try and tell me how it goes :)

 

And quotes of the week/Funny things I come up with ;)

"An angel appeared to Rebekkah, this was before ultrasound. It was AngelSound." - Brother Eggbert, the choir director (oh yeah, I joined the choir!)

"Have you ever listened to a snail?... You don't do that in Utah??" - Sister Kerr (She was dead serious and proceeded to make the sound of a snail hahahahahahaha)

 

You might be in the MTC if:

• You hear arguments about which Disney princess is prettier
• You hear a remix of "The Cups Song" in which "you've got a call for the long way round and 2 Books of Mormon for the way"
• You know how to say hello in at least 10 different languages, including some that don't exist
• You accidentally brush up against a boys' hand and he acts as if he's been shocked
• The thought of getting to bed by 10:30pm excites you
• Gym time consists of an intense game of... 4-square!
• You're way of rebelling is signing your letters with your first name
• You can't speak English anymore but you can't speak anything else yet either
• Seeing a male and female hug is like witnessing a murder

And there you have it folks, here's to another week at the MTC! Have a fabulous week and send me some DearElders or something. I need to know your life :)

 

Ingat, mahal kita!

Sister Brown

*Note from her mom: For those of you who have never used DearElder before like me... just go to DearElder.com and set up an account (you don't have to set up an account but it is easier because then it saves the address info and you don't have to put it in each time)!  Type out your letter and then send it...they print it out for you, put it in an envelope and send it directly to the missionary.  If you send it before a certain time (12pm M-F) she will get it that day...it's an awesome invention! :)  She said they get mail 2 times a day so letters are great too!  They have an hour  on P-days to get on the internet and read/send out emails so it helps if she's has had time to read your questions from your letters and DearElders during the week...since writing this email and sending pictures probably takes up about half of her email time! :/  I know she'd love to hear from all of you and hear what you are all up to!?  Thank you all for your love and support...it means a lot to both of us!! :)

And now for the pictures from the last 2 weeks:

Cookies and milk after a long hard day :)

Elder Richards is 6'7" and Sister Kerr and our teacher, Sister Osborn are both 5'2"

Our adorable little Elders, Elder Shaw, Elder Adamson, Elder Toro, Elder Hammer, Elder Richards, and Elder Milligan

Temple Walk Sunday

I ran into Sister Taran White finally! 

Tuesday night devotionals in the Marriott Center with only half the missionaries on campus

Ran into Sister Clonts too! She left for Virginia this last Wednesday.

After the Devotional our little army walks back to the MTC. It's an amazing thing to see!

Kasamas at the temple last Sunday

Roommates! Sister Carr, Sister Brown, Sister Smith, Sister Kerr, and Sister Ianuzi. Sister Ianuzi left for the Philippines on Monday

District D AKA the best district at the MTC. And the most humble.

Elder Richards and Elder Adamson are kasamas, there's a little bit of a height difference...

Kamusta po kayo mga kaigbiyan! (How are you my friends?)

Here is Sister Brown's 2nd letter from the MTC! :) She said she was sending more pictures but so far haven't seen anything! :(  I will post them as soon as I get them!!

Kamusta po kayo mga kaigbiyan!

I can't believe I've already been in the MTC for over a week! They say the days feel like weeks and the weeks feel like days in the MTC and I can attest to that! My stay is preparing me well though since they always seem to be out of toilet paper and I keep getting in the shower that doesn't work so you just have to splash yourself, kinda like a bucket shower. My kasama didn't know we had to take bucket showers in the Philippines, her reaction was priceless! I absolutely love it here! It is definitely exhausting but the spirit here is amazing and the amount we learn in such a short amount of time is a downright miracle.

 

I'm basically fluent in Taglish now. Wanna know what word I learned in TALL (this really super awesome language learning program on the computer with a wonderful song at the end and a lot of really annoying voices seeing how fast they can say the words you're supposed to be learning)? Bulati. Meaning intestinal worm. I figured that would come in handy when I get there ;) Joke lang! I could probably make better use of my time... I'm Senior companion which is cool but I don't really know what I'm supposed to be doing.

 

We finished teaching our first investigator this week. Last Saturday we had only taught him once. Well Saturday night we taught him again and we prayed before that we'd be able to understand Nico and what we needed to say. And we totally did! We didn't understand every word he said but we understood what he was saying and what he needed to hear. Sister Kerr took it away with a personal experience she had with prayer that she translated into Tagalog (remember we'd been here less than 4 days) and she brought the most amazing spirit into the room. The 3 of us all walked out of the room after that lesson and started crying... Annnnd that was the end of my no crying streak haha :) Our next lesson wasn't so great, probably because we were more confident in our ability and we forgot to rely on the spirit. We forgot we couldn't do it alone and it was back to square one. Then Wednesday night, I was feeling pretty inadequate. My kasamas and everyone in my district had been picking up on the language so fast and they always just knew what to say. I felt like I wasn't contributing anything at all to our lessons with Nico and I really wanted to be as in tune with the spirit as my kasamas were. So as we sat there teaching I said a little prayer in my heart that I would understand and that I would know what to say. And just then Nico asked a question that took us completely away from our memorized lesson plan which is scary when you don't know the language. But I had this thought, Mosiah 18:8-10, that's what he needs to hear. So I found it and he read it and then we didn't even have to ask, he told us we he felt like it was true and he knew what he needed to do, he wanted to be BAPTIZED!!!! Yes, he was a fake investigator. But our love for this imaginary Nico was real and the joy we felt was indescribable. And the gratitude I felt towards my Heavenly Father for answering a simple prayer about a fake investigator so that I could have that little confidence boost that I needed was so strong. I know that Heavenly Father hears and anwers ALL of our prayers no matter how simple.

 

Unfortunately for us sisters, Nico became our teacher the next day. Nico is actually named Brother Pearce and he is what we call Tukso (temtation) haha :) He is pretty good looking which should be illegal at the MTC but whatever, he's married so it's fine. These Italian Elders keep asking us if they can practice their testimonies on us too and we've decided next time we will just have to say no because I mean, do they want us to fall in love with them?

 

Kasama update, I still love them. In fact I love them even more than before! They are downright amazing young women. Sister Kerr and Sister Smith both have gone through some unbelievable trials in their lives and have come out on top. We are all so different but we get along so perfectly. Every night we give one another a compliment for the day and I believe it's really helped us to get along and to get closer. They are starting to see sides of me that they probably shouldn't haha :) Sister Smith is like our mom. She's always taking care of everyone but she's always laughing and making life fun! Sister Kerr is very diligent but  also always keeping things fun! They remind me of Avery and Amanda and that really helps me to feel right at home here. Humor is the only thing we've got some days when we just are so exhausted we want to cry. Our district laughs all the time. Sometimes during prayers, sometimes during lessons, but we're always laughing :) Oh and my kasamas like to run. So I've run WAY more than I would have liked this week. But hindi alala, I make up for it by eating LOTS of cookies!

 

District update, I still love them too. Favorite experience this week was last Saturday night. Our Elders were feeling a little discouraged so they gave one another blessings and asked if us sisters wanted one too. It was the most AMAZING thing! To have 6 18 year old boys who hardly knew me place their hands on my head and then hear exactly the words I needed to hear along with the words that are always said in every other blessing I've ever had was awesome. I can tell you that the power of the priesthood is real. There is NO way that those boys, some of them who had never even given a blessing before, could say the things they did without the power of God. I am so grateful Heavenly Father gave me the district and the companions that He did. They are perfect for me in every way.

 

Missionary Advice:

Don't ever compare yourself. You are you, and that is exactly who Heavenly Father needs in the mission field. He doesn't need 2 of your companion. He just needs you.

Bring a can of Febreze because chances are one 

of your 6 roommates WILL have a bad case of stinky feet. Been there, done that.

Have someone write down what is said in your setting apart so you can read it in the MTC and in the field.

Learn all the hymns no one knows. That's all we sing here.

Remember that you've been preparing your whole life for this, not just since you got your call. So don't worry, you can do it!

 

And lastly, I started a quote book with funny and inspiring quotes of the week. So here are a few of them.

"Sisters don't sweat. We glisten. We glisten like a horse." - Sister Reed

"What does that mean?" - Sister Smith "That was English Sister." - Sister Kerr

"There's the sugar!" -Elder Adamson

"The MTC is like the Mormon version of Survivor." -Elder Milligan

"Touched by an angel, tickled by the spirit." -Elder Milligan

And inspirational "Be bold. You've got a note from Jesus Christ. It's not your name on the line here, it's His. You CAN make a difference." - Elder George Durrant

"People in jail serve time. People on missions should be serving the Savior. Never wake up and ask yourself what am I going to do today. Ask how am I going to get it all done?" - Elder Kendrick

 

Have a great week everybody! Mahal Kita!

 

Sister Brown

Kamusta?!

 My Kasamas (companions), Sister Kerr and Sister Smith. I LOVE them!

Kamusta?! So I've survived 4 days in the MTC! My first day? CRUSHED IT. I mean I'm basically fluent in Tagalog now. Okay maybe not. Literally 5 minutes after I got here, my host missionary dropped me off in my classroom and the teacher immediately started asking me questions. In Tagalog. Not one word of English. I probably should have felt overwhelmed but I just felt so happy and excited I didn't even care! My district has 6 Elders and 3 Sisters. Elder Milligan, Elder Toro, Elder Hammer, Elder Adamson, Elder Shaw, Elder Richards, Sister Kerr, and Sister Smith. Us 3 sisters are in a trio because Sister Kerr's kasama (companion) didn't show up. I LOVE them! They are so much fun and such hard workers! They keep me focused and working hard. I actually met Sister Smith before the MTC and I talked to Sister Kerr on FB. Our Elders are all 18 and they're just adorable! Our zone has a rule that the Sisters are not to take their trays back after any meal. How cute is that? And you never walk through a door that isn't opened for you. I think all guys need to go through MTC training, the world would just be a better place :) We have absolutely zero free time. It's go, go, go all the time from 6:30am to 10:00pm. I never thought I would look forward to going to sleep at 10:30 so much!

 

The food is pretty good, definitely better than the HC! But it makes you sick the first few days. Also the sheets feel a little like sandpaper and our room smells like something died in there. No worries, we bought some Glade today! There are 2 showers I was advised not to use, one that was just a trickle and one that was like a fire hose blasting at you. I experienced them both within 3 days. So glad that's out of the way :) The sisters in our zone are super nice and our Sister Training Leaders come in to give us hugs every night, which is really nice. I have yet to cry (except when we watched 17 Miracles, but that doesn't count). Me and Elder Milligan are having a competition to see who can go the longest without crying haha :)

 

For the 4th of July we had a devotional, watched 17 Miracles, got ice cream, and got to stay up late and watch the Stadium of Fire fireworks! It was awesome! All the sisters dressed up in red, white, and blue and it was adorable! All the sisters have the cutest clothes and I'm just like "Bakit? BAKIT?" But whatevs, I'm rocking the sister missionary look.

 

It's day 4 and I know how to pray and bear my testimony in Tagalog and also how to say "Go take a bath" which is the equivalent to saying "Bless you" when someone sneezes. Weird, huh? We also already taught our first lesson to a fake investigator named Nico. In Tagalog. No notes or anything. 2 1/2 days after I said my first few words in Tagalog and we're teaching a whole lesson. How amazing is that?! I mean, our lesson consister mostly of things like "God, Plan, Happy," and "HIndi ko Alam" meaning I don't know. It was really frustrating because even though we knew he was just an actor, we had prayed and prepared all day that we would be able to teach him what he needed to hear and we really wanted that for him. But we couldn't understand hardly anything he said and we couldn't address his concerns or answer his questions because we just didn't know what he had said. It can be discouraging at times but I just have to remind myself that it's only day 4 and the fact that in only 4 days I've learned this much. It's crazy how even though half the time we're just reading things out of our booklet you can feel the spirit, Oh, #HG *cough cough Jeska* I kind of struggle with praying in Tagalog so I usually just do it in Taglish. But when I really try to do it in Tagalog, I just feel so much closer to Heavenly Father.

 

Okay I had a lot more but we have to teach again tonight and I'm out of time!

 

Mahal kita!

Sister Brown

The district! Elder Shaw, Elder Milligan, Elder Richards, Elder Adamson, Elder Toro, Elder Hammer, Sister Smith, Sister Kerr, and Sister Brown!

Laundry on P-day

Dancing in the rain after our first lesson in Tagalog! Crushed it. Sorta.

 

The District at the 4th of July devotional

4th of July= Ice cream and fireworks :D

Stadium of Fire from the MTC

The Farewell: Come Unto Christ

Good morning Brothers and Sisters! I haven’t given a talk for quite some time so I’m pretty nervous. But I was reading in my scriptures and I came across this one: “My (Daughter), peace be unto thy soul; thine adversity and afflictions shall be but a small moment." Yep, about 20 minutes. I can do this. I am so grateful for the opportunity I have to speak to you today. I asked a couple of my friends what I could do to get everyone’s attention and they told me I should do a backflip off the stand. So here goes… (Pretend like I’m gonna do a backflip) Just kidding, I can’t do a backflip. But what I can do is promise that if you stay awake during my talk Isaac will do something really cool when he gets up.

Okay so I was asked to speak on President Eyring’s talk from this past general conference. It is titled “Come Unto Me.” I love President Eyring and I love this talk but I had a really hard time choosing what direction I wanted to go with this so I hope that the spirit helps me out here.

So what does it mean to come unto Christ? The words “come unto Christ” are an invitation. This is the invitation I get to extend to our brothers and sisters in the Philippines. It is the most important invitation that anyone could ever offer to another person. It is the most important invitation anyone could ever accept. Just like any other invitation, it is our choice to accept it or reject it. There are multiple instances in the scriptures where Christ asks us to come unto him. One of my favorites is in D&C 88:63. It says “Draw near unto me and I will draw near unto you; seek me diligently and ye shall find me; ask, and ye shall receive; knock, and it shall be opened unto you.” I love this scripture because of the promise it contains. Christ promises that if we will come unto him he will draw nearer to us. President Eyring tells us of a time that he felt the Savior drawing near unto Him.

 “The memory of one day more than 65 years ago, when I kept the commandment to gather with my family and with the Saints, still draws me closer to the Savior. It was dark and cold outside. I remember feeling light and warmth in the chapel that evening with my parents. We partook of the sacrament, administered by Aaronic Priesthood holders, covenanting with our Heavenly Father to always remember His Son and keep His commandments. At the end of the meeting we sang the hymn “Abide with Me; ’Tis Eventide,” with the words in it “O Savior, stay this night with me.” I felt the Savior’s love and closeness that evening.”

I have felt this way too and I’m sure many of you have as well. One of the first times I remember feeling this way was when I was 12 years old. It was my very first year at girls’ camp, which meant my very first girls camp testimony meeting. Those of you have attended one of those can testify of just how amazing they are. Almost every single girl got up and bore her testimony of her Savior and His love for her. I imagine it was cold and dark, but I just remember the warmth and the light. As I got up and shared my testimony for the very first time it was as if He was standing right there in our little circle. I felt Him near that night.

While I was preparing for this talk, the word “come” really caught my attention. Whenever Christ invites us to draw near to him it is always “come.” It doesn’t ever say, “Go find Him.” You know why I think that is? Because He is ALWAYS there. He is already walking right beside you, just waiting for you to come, to realize that He’s there. President Eyring tells a story from the book of Luke that illustrates this.

Two of the disciples walked from Jerusalem on the road to Emmaus after the resurrection of Christ. The resurrected Christ appeared on the road and walked with them. The Lord had come to them. The book of Luke allows us to walk with them:

 “And it came to pass, that, while they communed together and reasoned, Jesus himself drew near, and went with them.

“But their eyes were holden that they should not know him.

“And he said unto them, What manner of communications are these that ye have one to another, as ye walk, and are sad?

“And the one of them, whose name was Cleopas, answering said unto him, Art thou only a stranger in Jerusalem, and hast not known the things which are come to pass there in these days?”

They told Him of their sadness that Jesus had died when they had trusted He would be the Redeemer of Israel.

There must have been affection in the risen Lord’s voice as He spoke to these two sorrowful and mourning disciples:

“Then he said unto them, O fools, and slow of heart to believe all that the prophets have spoken:

“Ought not Christ to have suffered these things, and to enter into his glory?

“And beginning at Moses and all the prophets, he expounded unto them in all the scriptures the things concerning himself.”

Then came a moment that has warmed my heart since I was a little boy:

“And they drew nigh unto the village, whither they went: and he made as though he would have gone further.

“But they constrained him, saying, Abide with us: for it is toward evening, and the day is far spent. And he went in to tarry with them.”

The Savior accepted that night the invitation to enter the house of His disciples near the village of Emmaus.

How cool would it be to have the Savior accept an invitation into your home? The word “come” also implies action. Christ could not have accepted the invitation if it was not first extended. In order for Him to come unto us, we have to do something first. Any time there is a miracle in the scriptures, there is first someone coming unto him. The ten lepers came to him asking to be healed, the woman with an issue of blood just had to come close enough to Him to touch His cloak, many times a parent with a sick or dying child brought that child unto Christ to be healed.

These are examples of coming to him physically, but how can we come unto Him spiritually? Probably the simplest and most important way is obedience, simple acts of obedience to the commandments. Things like studying scriptures, attending church, saying daily prayers, and paying tithing. President Eyring’s story of attending sacrament when he was a little boy is an example of how he was able to feel Christ near by being obedient.

This past year in college I got to experience how simple acts of obedience bring you closer to Christ more than I ever have before. Even though I lived about 10 minutes away from the beautiful SLC temple, I might have gone once the entire Fall semester. I read my scriptures late at night and I would only make it through a couple of verses before I fell asleep. Life wasn’t terrible by any means, but sometimes I would feel alone and when I prayed I felt like I was just talking to the wall. When Spring semester came around, I got new wonderful roommates and we started going to the temple every week. I started to study my scriptures earlier in the day. As I did these things, I was able to better focus on school and I just felt happier. As I became more obedient, I felt closer to Christ and I never felt alone.

Another way we can draw closer to Christ is to serve Him and our fellow men. This reminds me of the baptismal covenants many of us have made which include bearing one another’s burdens, mourning with those that mourn, and standing as a witness of God at all times and in all things and in all places. We are under covenant both to lift up those in need and to be witnesses of the Savior as long as we live.

This ward is an amazing example of that. As many of you know, my mom is a single mother and a few weeks ago she lost her job. When she told me that, I was angry. Aren’t the families of missionaries supposed to be blessed? How were we supposed to get everything I still needed for my mission? Why would Heavenly Father let this happen? There is a scripture, D&C 84:88 that says “And whoso receiveth you, there I will be also, for I will go before your face. I will be on your right hand and on your left, and my spirit shall be in our hearts, and mine angels round about you to bear you up.” This experience has strengthened my testimony of angels on earth. As soon as the ward found out, there were angels showing up on my doorstep with money or supplies that I still needed. We got letters in the mail with no return address full of money. I have truly been humbled by the outpouring of love and support that was so freely given and hope that those people were able to feel Christ come closer to them through their service to me and I would just like to say thank you for all that you’ve done.

Right now, my way of standing as a witness is serving a full time mission. However, there are a lot of other ways you can stand as a witness. For example, you can be a missionary through your example and your actions. I have a lot of friends who are great examples of this but my friend Avery is a really great one. She is always giving Books of Mormon to people she feels would benefit from it and letting people know what she believes. When I think about being a sharing the gospel with someone, I think of how scary it would be. A few months ago a missionary shared a quote with me that has really helped me with that. It’s from the movie We Bought a Zoo. It goes like this: “Sometimes all you need is just 20 seconds of insane courage. Just, literally 20 seconds of embarrassing bravery. And I promise you something great will come of it.”

As we do our best to invite others to come unto Christ President Eyring gives us this promise, “We will be able to do it without fail only as we feel love for the Savior and His love for us. As we are faithful to the promises we have made, we will feel our love for Him. It will increase because we will feel His power and His drawing near to us in His service.” I know this is true. There is no way that I am going to learn a language I’d never heard of before without some help. I know that as I come unto Him by serving the people of the Philippines, He will help me and I will be able to do it.

President Eyring goes on to talk about another blessing of coming unto Christ, “As we give devoted service to Him, He draws closer to those we love in our families. Many of you have loved ones who are wandering off the path to eternal life. You wonder what more you can do to bring them back. You can depend on the Lord to draw closer to them as you serve Him in faith.” The first time I heard this talk, this really stuck out to me. As I’ve been preparing for the mission for the past 6 months, I’ve been feeling something that I hadn’t really felt a whole lot before. I didn’t know how to describe it really until I found this scripture, “Now they were desirous that salvation should be declared to every creature, for they could not bear that any human soul should perish; yea, even the very thought that any soul should endure endless torment did cause them to quake and tremble.” It is really hard for me to see people that I love trying to endure life’s trials alone, not knowing that their Savior is right there waiting for them to come unto him. The gospel makes me SO happy and all I want is for them to be happy too. In Mosiah 27, the angel is speaking to Alma the Younger, “And again, the angel said: Behold, the Lord hath heard the prayers of his people, and also the prayers of his servant, Alma, who is thy father; for he has prayed with much faith concerning thee that thou mightest be brought to the knowledge of the truth; therefore, for this purpose have I come to convince thee of the power and authority of God, that the prayers of his servants might be answered according to their faith.”

That feeling is what helped me decide that I wanted to serve a mission. I couldn’t bear the thought of anyone not having the opportunity to have what I have and know what I know. How could I have something that makes me so happy and not share it with others? I am grateful and humbled that I might be able to be the answer to someone’s prayers by bringing their loved ones unto Christ and I am thankful for the promise that as I serve Christ will draw near unto those I love.

I know that my family will be watched over and protected as I serve that Lord and that not only will Christ draw near unto me, He will draw near unto my family. I know that Christ lives and that He is always there. He knows and loves each of us individually. Despite the fact that the first two things I heard after opening my call were “They eat baby ducks,” and “My teacher went there, he got shot,” I as so excited to serve the Lord and the people of the Philippines! I know it’s going to be hard but I know that I am not going to have to do it alone. He will come to us when we need Him most. I am so thankful for my family, especially my mom and all she’s done to help me get ready and build my testimony. I am especially thankful for all of my young women’s leaders and the young women. My testimony would not be what it is today without them.

In closing I want to share with you the words of a song:

I've never been the kind to testify, I don't have the words his truth deserves. But it's a simple thing he asks,
 a worthy heart and willing hands. 
He says if I'll make the choice,
 He'll help me find my voice.
 He calls me to serve and I cannot fail him, the one who has given me all that I have. I place my trust in him alone,
 He knows the yearnings of my soul.
 Because he believes in me, 
I will go willingly. How can I keep this gift to my self
, when I can lift somebody else? 
I am a witness of his miracles and his mercy, 
I put my future in his hands, 
knowing he's made me all I am. I put my faith in him, the truth begins to
 speak.
 His power is real, it moves me until, I will not be
 still.

In the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.

It's Okay To Be Scared

For some reason, it seems that people, including soon-to-be missionaries, tend to believe that missionaries shouldn't be scared. The day after I got my call to the Philippines I was telling a co-worker that although I was definitely excited, I was also scared. She gave me this really funny look, as if being scared was an absolutely ridiculous thing to be feeling and said, "Why are you scared? No one's making you do it, right? You signed up for it." 

Her comment really bothered me and I started to think maybe she was right. Maybe I shouldn't be scared. I mean, I was the one who made the decision and filled out all the paperwork. But I soon realized that yes, I did sign up for it. But there was no where on those papers that said I wasn't allowed to be scared. When I read the words, "You are assigned to labor in the Philippines San Pablo Mission, I was excited, don't get me wrong. But I was also terrified! A mission is a big deal. I was about to leave my family and friends and everything I knew for 18 months. I'd never been on an airplane and now I was about to fly half way around the world alone. I was going to be living in the Philippines. I didn't even know where that was! I was going to have to not only try to teach the gospel to complete strangers, I was going to have to do it in a language I had never even heard of before. I was going to have to eat baby duck and live with spiders the size of my head! It was a big deal. And after a lot of thought, here's the conclusion I came to: It's okay to be scared. 

We as human beings are naturally apprehensive of the unknown and the decision to serve a full-time mission means walking on a whole lot of unknown territory. I was reading Wisdom ala Carte and it said fear itself can basically be defined as being the end result of a lack of experience. In other words, fear means that we don't trust ourselves to deal with the situation the fear connects to. So we have to teach ourselves that we can handle every situation. This made me think of Philippians 4:13 which says, "I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me." It's okay to be a little scared as long as we remember that we are not alone. What may be unknown to us, is not unknown to God. He knows what is best for us and as long as we put our full trust in Him, it's gonna be okay. 

So don't worry, if you're scared that's completely normal. In fact, if you aren't a little bit afraid at some point between the time you receive your call and the time you report to the MTC I'd be a little worried. It is NOT a requirement for pre-missionaries to be super stoked every minute of every day until they leave. I promise. But on the days you are feeling down and afraid, remember whose hands you are in. Remember Proverbs 3:5-6, "Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths." Then eat some ice cream and watch a good movie.

Good Always Triumphs

Every fairytale is a fight between good and evil. And always, good triumphs. But it is never an easy path. Prince Phillip had to overcome obstacle after obstacle before he could slay the dragon and save Sleeping Beauty. Snow White went through trial after trial before her Prince Charming saved her and she finally escaped the evil queen. And Cinderella's path to happily ever after definitely wasn't a piece of cake thanks to her evil stepsisters and stepmother. But in the end, it was always good that won.

True to all fairytales, there is a villain in mine. His name is Satan and he is doing everything he possibly can to stop me from reaching the next step in my happily ever after: A mission. The moment you decide to serve a mission, he steps it up a notch. When you get your call, he tries a little harder. And when it gets close to you actually going, he comes at you full force. At first it was simply by putting doubts and fear into my mind. "I don't know if I really want to do this. I'll be so behind in school and I'll miss too many things at home." And then it got worse. "What if I chose wrong and this isn't what I'm supposed to do? I definitely can't learn Tagalog, I couldn't even learn Spanish! I don't know anything, I'm not ready for something like this. What if I don't even make it through the MTC?" And the big one, "Why the Philippines? I'm not supposed to go there. What if my prosthesis has problems over there? And I wanted to learn Spanish like everyone else is. This is all wrong." DO NOT DOUBT YOUR MISSION CALL. That is the worst thing you could do because then you doubt everything. You are called where you are needed. It is inspired by God, I know that surely now. After talking to a San Pablo RM and the mission president the doubts went away and I was nothing but excited! Haha Satan! It's over, I won! Or so I thought.

When my villain couldn't get into my thoughts anymore, his attempts became more visible. Just smaller things at first, my sister's glasses broke, the lawn mower died, we found out I needed an extra vaccination, there was a pretty minor car accident, and I started having problems with a cyst on my leg that hadn't made a comeback for 3 years. But then there was this. My single mother who is raising 3 expensive teenagers lost her job. And I was angry. How could Heavenly Father let this happen? I'm trying to do His will! "Why?" I wanted to scream at Satan, "Why are you attacking my family?! It's me you want, not them! Just leave them out of this! Don't you realize what this will do to my family?" He knew. He knew that in order to get to me he had to use the people I loved the most.

That night I had a dream. Every time I went downstairs to my room there was this darkness that would overcome me and I would feel so afraid and alone and run back upstairs to the light and my family. One of those times, it didn't let go and it was threatening to overcome me completely and I was just about to give up when I realized that I had a choice here. I was stronger than Satan because I had a sidekick. My Savior, Jesus Christ, was on my side. I was not going to let Satan win. Good always wins. And the darkness receded, not completely but enough that I could carry the burden. I realized that Satan isn't going to give up, he's still going to be there. But with the help of my family and most importantly, my Savior, the temptation will be less and my strength will be enough. I want nothing more than to fight this battle alone. I wish that he would leave my family out of it. But villains never fight fair. They always use the people you love the most against you.

D&C 84:88 

But you know what, there is always someone with a kind heart willing to help. Cinderella had her Fairy Godmother, Snow White had the 7 dwarves, and Ariel had Flounder and Sebastian. I have angels. Not all of my angels have wings. In fact, most of my angels are just regular people. From the time I was trying to decide if I should serve a mission until now angels have been helping me. Before I had even decided I was going, I knew money would be an issue. But a couple of angels made it possible not only to go, but to go a lot sooner than I could have otherwise. When I had doubts, the angels I called roommates eased my fears. Then when my ward found out that my mom had lost her job and that I still needed so much for my mission, they immediately and silently stepped in. I have had angel after angel show up on my doorstep with a check. People who hardly had anything themselves were sending envelopes full of cash. One pregnant sister even showed up with a bag of feminine products because she'd heard I was going to need 18 months worth in the Philippines and she wasn't currently in need of them. I was amazed and touched by the outpouring of love and service these people, my angels, so freely gave. And that's when I realized you can't put out a light with darkness. Darkness doesn't even exist. Darkness is simply the absence of light. But light, light banishes darkness instantly. It doesn't even stand a chance. So take that Satan. You will NEVER win. Because good ALWAYS triumphs.